Diavotionals
My insecurities. My truths. My soul-searching. My stories.
Why Does She Stay8/17/2020 Written on August 16, 2020. 5:54pm In the twisted tongue of lust
In the box of unwanted opinions Unwanted philosophies Unwanted treachery Unwanted stereotypes and policing of a body that was hers before it ever belonged to someone else And the heated passenger seats of Chevy Impalas And the twin size beds of college dormitories Can I tell her story? Can we discuss her pain? From wounds of emotional absence Rejection from parental abandonment Guilt from mundane curiosity How about her shame? Why does she stay? with the devil who dances at her daughters crevices the demon who fills her crack pipe the man that she loves so whole-heartedly it matters not when he raises his fist raises his voice raises his hands to grope her neck that’s strangulation to death as a means to an end of her stay Her loyalty Her longing for good In a house that was not a home in mansions with fountains in gentrified gated communities In section 8 housing where you hear gunshots across the street Why does she stay ego tripping identity flipping code switching in predominantly white summer camps summer classes summer jobs summer internships just to get a job that’s permanently white washed white seeking white promoting anti-black in a pro-white dystopian society Perhaps, the ghetto should’ve stayed her home where the comfort of black bonnets and neck tattoos and bright hair and large hoops and gold teeth and desert eagles and 10pc wing plates brought promises brought ease brought security brought PTSD brought instability was it a fair trade? Her escape Abandoning a community Breaking generational curses Fleeing the streets that made her brothers bleed The first one was 14 The last one happened yesterday The baby was only 3 So, why does she stay? I think the better question is .... Who helps her leave?
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