My insecurities. My truth. My story.
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Aimlessly, aimlessly on my phone these endless quotes about God’s timing. I mean, what? Am I just to sit here and wait on the final grades that show the “mediocre” me? In hopes that God will turn some B’s to A’s…and some C’s to a quick degree? How the hell am I suppose to wait for the “Right Timing”? Truth is…I hate waiting. I like things quick. Quick food, quick highs, quick di…hahaaa, just kidding. Nah, but God really? You want me to wait for a career that I spent my whole life dreaming? You want me to wait for the man that’ll never give up on me? No matter how imperfect he is…I’m supposed to wait because he’s “The One” for me? I’m supposed to wait for the big money and to struggle with what I have currently? In a world, with every bill, pill, and steal on the streets…I’m not supposed to mind waiting? I guess I’m just supposed to lay in my bed at night as you constantly say “Trust Me”. But, how do I continuously trust you when you’re not talking back to me…All you seem to say is “Trust me.” I ask, “God, is this for me?” You say “Trust me.” I say, “God, is he the one for me?” You say, “Trust me.” I say, “God, I can’t do this. Why me?” And all you ever seem to say is…”Trust me.” So, here I am…for six months…waiting. Isolated in the confines of a big city…where I could’ve went to Magic City…I could’ve had a sugar daddy…I could’ve been…somewhere else…yet…here I am….waiting. I could’ve been anyone else…and you got me…waiting. You ever struggle so much…work so hard…that only your eyes can see? For that white coat I hope to have one day…for that little baby that’ll look up at me one day….I guess...I don’t mind waiting. For the family that believes in my dreams…I don’t mind waiting. God, keep it real with me. Can’t we make a compromise? Like….a glimpse in a crystal ball…can you at least give me a sneak peek? So, at least know I’m headed right….please…for me.
I don’t mind waiting…but promise…Please promise to stay with me.