My insecurities. My truth. My story.
I embarked upon this summer stressed, anxious, and ultimately...lonely (at least I thought I was). If you've kept up with my posts, you know 2016 has been everything but a fairy tale like I expected. There's been guilt, anxiety, depression, anger, a breakup, and A LOT of alone time. I thought I was down and out. I was smiling, but also crying. I was a beautiful, wild mess that needed love from her own self.
This summer I imagined myself in the sands of Jamaica. After being rejected from the internship I really wanted, it was time to look at my other options. I applied to about 15 places and got into all of them except three or four. In the midst of trying to keep up with my classes, the last thing I needed was to be stressed about what I was doing for the summer. Finally, I just went out on a whim and (probably) said YOLO. I chose to come to Saint Louis, Missouri ALL SUMMA '16.
Great! I got to Saint Louis. Now, what? I was 12 hours away from home, trying to "find myself", and trying to understand how did I end up among about 60 BRILLIANT students out of 900 applications. To add to that, I was also trying to build my faith and evaluate what/who I needed to let go. The sum of all this led to a summer I'll never forget, a great appreciation for my growth, a greater love for God's grace, and ultimately admitting...I like me.
If you ask the students I've been surrounded by this summer, they'd probably say I'm quiet or kept to myself a lot this summer. Only those who was afforded some real one on one time could attest to my extroverted personality. This is because I purposely spent some time getting to know me. Mostly this time was either in my room journaling, watching Netflix, searching my own thoughts, praying, or reading scriptures.
On this quest, I learned a lot of things. Some good. Some bad. Only God can judge. Here goes:
This video was shared with me tonight and just as it spoke to me...I'm sure my fellow women need to hear this as well.
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