It's been almost a week, and it seems as though a heavy load is being lifted day by day. I've messed up, I've lied (over and over again) in order to fill some sort of "emptiness" in my life, I've fallen (and continue to fall to the ways of this world), and I tend to hold jealousy & resentment in my heart. But today I woke up and realized...it's alright. I'm human. We are all human, and we are all going to mess up. But the most important part of our MESS is the MESSAGE. What do we know? What do we learn? How will we keep from letting it happen again?
It's simple...you have to spend time with YOU. You have to get to the root of your addiction...understand why you're a "people pleaser"...evaluate the influences in your life. Through this, I've learned that I've put on facades out of blatant insecurities or to make me seem more "exciting". I spend too much time seeking validation. But it is not THE VALIDATION OF OTHERS we need...we need LOVE. WE NEED JOY. Once you are filled with love and joy, God makes you're perfectly PERFECT with yourself. You don't have to lie, you don't have to front, you don't have to be anything but YOU. Because you are you....and I AM I. That's all we can be.
So, if there's that gap that needs to be filled....don't lean on to what has happened to you. Look forward to what is coming. Your mistakes do not MAKE you. And while other people may take a while to understand you...YOU have to forgive YOU. YOU have to understand YOU. This is our next step to being everything we are supposed to be-free. Whatever you said, whatever you did, it's gone and done. Let go, be free, and be happy.